July 23, 2019•439 words
I'm getting a taste of what it'd feel like to have a night that ends late because of meetings, and having to find time for food and to eek out time write after feeling drained. I've seen it argued that writing is best in the morning, when the mind is fresh, and your subconscious has had time to process what you loaded it with the night before.
I'm happy to say my mind is most blank in the morning, I don't think I've ever been a morning person, there was that one time I was terrorized by a manager, who would pick me up at 4 am and we'd go for the hour or so drive to work. After a few weeks I turned Stockholm and started to enjoy the drive, mainly because he had a quirky yet endearing personality and was a great story teller. He had a way of making things come to life through words, and sometimes you could see people listening pausing and actively trying to visualize what he'd just said. There'd be a bemused glazed look in their eyes as they went up and slightly to the right. One of these phrases was, and I've definitely given away who this is, "I'm begging you, with bended knees over broken glass" delivered as he clasped his hands together.
I'd been away from this city for a few months, and the place I had my meeting, had some familiar faces who recognized me, I enjoyed that feeling. Each face I met, I conversed with, and one of the questions I was asked was, how is everything, and their arms went wide. So I said everything, arms as wide as I could manage, is going well alhamdulillah, and then I started drawing smaller circles within the bigger circle, and said, and here it's ok. But everything, arms drawing a wide circle again, is going well alhamdulillah.
I recall this, because the faces I met, after a few months, all had one thing in common, the look of determination, of forward momentum, of seeking to better their tomorrow, by challenging it today.
Before I even got on the computer, I caught myself slipping into an old thought habit, what difference will one day make, I thought. For the faces I met today, every day made the difference, so I had to beat back my poor excuse of a habit. Besides, if the stuff about morning writing has some truth to it, I expect some next level writing in 5 years when I don't need to stay up all hours of the night for lil dude.