Day 65 - Bully for you.!?

Add an exclamation mark and that phrase becomes positive, sound it out while chewing a bagel and it becomes biting sarcasm.

Here's a scenario: You've struck gold, literally.

You've promised your client, that you'll save them buckets of gold, because you know the smartest people, and they'll fix the problems your client has. Your fee? A small percentage of the gold you'll save them.

Your client, has a mandate, their business is big, it's grown rapidly, the spend on projects that will keep them relevant is high. They need an outsider's perspective. They trust you. Why? Because you've saved others money before, you've got the facts and figures to prove it. Hundreds of millions of gold buckets saved for a client here, a client there, a client everywhere. Bully for you!

Your people are sat with the client, whose people didn't get the memo that your people are the smartest, that they're here to save you buckets of gold. There's bad blood between them, things aren't going as well as they should, you shuffle your smart people in, out, in, out...but you deliver the savings you promised. You tell the client, that the people in that business unit there is worth a few hundred buckets of gold, and that division there is worth a few thousand, and they can all be replaced with one magical computer system; which you'll have to charge for, but it's worth the buckets you'll save.

The client, impressed by your reasoning, and the buckets you've just saved, wants this thing yesterday, so you bring even more smart people, buckets and buckets worth of smart people. Your client isn't sure what they're all there for; remember the savings! You remind your client, it takes smart people to save money! You add.

Months later, and your smart people are 'managing' a bucketful of I.T. people to put in place the magical computer system. You client is wondering why there are people on top of people on top of the actual people putting in place the magical computer system. Your client wants meetings, the meetings need meetings, and your smart people are now in all the meetings, except for the I.T. people, they're still on the first sketch of the magical computer system. A year later, the I.T. people will be informed of the changes that were requested 6 months back.

Your golden goose is losing it's patience, they want progress, but wait! You have something that'll guarantee your client have total transparency over the process. Your people will work alongside their people this time, and they'll implement things after two weeks. Wow! That's so quick! You client is amazed at this new way of working, what do you call it?

It's proprietary you say, and you let them know only your smart people can do things the Hermes way. That other ones are just copies of Hermes, whether it's Mercury, Zoran, or Horus.

A year passes, and the A.I. edition of the magical computer system is yet to come online, your smart people are fleeing the client offices, and word has spread among the smart people that you throw people under the bucket of gold, whenever the client throws a tantrum. And so you've thrived, client after client, exchanging buckets of gold for shallow graves.

Time is friend to no one, you're nearing a hundred years, the tales you told, to get the work, the lies about the buckets of gold you saved, are catching up with you. The loss in production, the loss of value, the clients you promised prosperity, no longer active or at death's doorstep. You're going to be found out, your half-truths, whether they're the latest fad in diversity, or the coolest trick in thinking, will not keep you from swallowing your own bitter pill. So bully for you dear management consultancies. Bully. For. You.

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